What Fear Does To Us.

I'm tired of people spreading fear.

All the fear mongering is exhausting.

Fear mongering - the action of deliberately arousing public fear or alarm about a particular issue.

For someone who has anxiety and fights against being motivated by fear on a daily basis, I don't need others bringing my attention to what else I need to be scared of.

Seeing so much rhetoric being rooted in fear just makes me tired. It makes me wonder why we so easily buy into it. It definitely makes me question Christians swift bout of amnesia about that whole "perfect love casts out fear" idea.

We so easily forget that the Bible we say we believe in also says things like, "God hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." I don't think we look very loving or of sound mind these days.

Because if you claim to follow Jesus, fear should never be your motivating factor. To buy into the mantra "make America safe again" is buying into fear, it's allowing people in power to trump the truth that we should know (pun intended)...being motivated by fear is not living or loving.

This Is What Fear Does to Us...

It shuts us down. It paralyzes us. It makes us clench our fists instead of open our hands.

It makes us build walls and slam doors instead of making room at the table and remembering that everyone belongs. It ramps up our privilege and American exceptionalism to say, "Yeah...we deserve the best. We worked for this. We are entitled to this and no one else is."

Fear moves us towards hate, towards lines in the sand against us and them, and towards pointing fingers. It moves us towards crossing the street when someone in need is hurt.

Fear loves this idea of other. It drives us away from each other. It gives a reason for why we don't have to love others the way we love ourselves because "they are not like us."

Fear removes personhood and humanity from people. Fear strips our ability to see the image of God in every person we come in contact with. You can't truly believe everyone deserves to have their dignity affirmed if you're so caught up in being scared of the other that you won't engage with them.

It's easy to buy into fear. It's easy to get swept up in group think and think the way everyone else does. But are we really called to live an easy life?

Nothing easy is usually worth doing. It's a lot harder to go against the grain, to love our enemies, to stand up for the poor and marginalized...to live a life that Jesus modeled.

Fear creates reactions and responses in us that basically go against everything Jesus talked about.

Fear makes us collapse into ourselves and look inward instead of outward. It cuts us off from generosity and empathy.

There's no room for light to shine when fear is involved. Fear smothers the light and makes sure everything stays cloaked in darkness and shadows.

Outsmart Fear

It's easy for me to talk about fear because I fight against that smothering feeling every day.

The world needs us to be smarter than the fear mongers. It needs us to remember we are global citizens and to think creatively for solutions that humanize people rather than dehumanize them.

When we are consumed by fear there is no room for love. There is no room for relationship or listening or grace. Fear escalates into hate and we aren't supposed to be people of hate.

If you claim to follow Jesus, we need to remember that our only job is to love. And building walls and supporting any action that marginalizes a people group doesn't look like love to me.

The very people Jesus says to pay attention to are the very people that are getting shamed, blamed, and bullied and when that happens that doesn't look like any kind of gospel I'm familiar with.

I don't intend for this to be a political post, but it's hard for it not to be when that's where a lot of fear mongering is coming from. But I've also heard pastors preach fear from the pulpit and you hear it from the media every day. The people that try to tell you you're not safe are often times the ones trying to make you afraid of something in the first place.

Instilling fear in people is a great way to control and manipulate - so unfortunately it can come from anyone in a position of power.

All politics aside and just for the sake of humanity really...regardless of who you identify with politically, remember that our identity isn't in Republican or Democrat, American or not American, documented or undocumented or fill in the blank...we need to be working towards a WORLD that is about loving each other, creating space for things to be the way they should be - where there is room for everyone, where justice prevails, where grace and mercy triumph and where there is love, love and more love.

I desire to see a world where fear doesn't prevail because love does. Love drives out fear.

Again.

My heart is heavy and my eyes are not dry. Again. In the past two days, we've seen two black men killed executed by the police. Again.

I've seen post after post by my black friends about how they're treated like their lives don't matter, how they live in fear for their black sons, brothers and nephews. Again.

We see #blacklivesmatter and the names of the victims on social media over and over. Again.

I watch and hear the media try to spin the story and diminish black people's lived experiences. Again.

We hear people claim but "all lives matter," who somehow seem to blame the victims, who seem to miss the blatant truth staring them in the face. Again.

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The ignorance that many people have around this cannot keep happening.

White friends we CANNOT choose ignorance anymore. We CANNOT sit idly by while human beings are being killed by the people who are supposed to "serve and protect."

We CANNOT ignore the fact that:

Black men represent less than 10% of all Americans but over 40% of unarmed people killed by American police.

OR

Unarmed African-American men and boys are an astounding 700% more likely to be shot and killed by police than unarmed white men. In fact, unarmed black men and boys are killed at almost the same rate by police as armed white men.

We CANNOT diminish the lived experiences of black men and women in our country because their perspective and their stories MATTER. And if you don't know their perspective or stories, listen. Here's one place to start.

We CANNOT turn a blind eye to the systemic racism and injustices that weave this country together and make it run.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor, Desmond Tutu says, and I refuse to be neutral.

We should care so much about justice and for everyone whose skin is not white to be treated in a way where they do not have to be fearful for their lives that we cannot be neutral.

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I know that because I am white, I will never understand what it's like to be treated like I am disposable and that my life doesn't matter. When I saw police I always assumed they were there to help. The ones who make sure everyone is okay.

But that's my story and that story is really only true for white people.

Instead of getting pulled over for a "busted tail light" or asked why I'm in a certain area of town, I get pulled over and asked if I know where I am and am I lost because "don't you know what kind of area this is."

The examples and experiences I have to show the difference between the white lived experience in America and black lived experience in America are too vast to list here.

It is terrifying to think about my friends, my soon to be brother-in-law and nephews, and kids who I love so much not having anyone there to protect them...to be fearful of the very people who are supposed to help. 

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To my white friends, family, coworkers, neighbors and strangers please open your eyes and your ears to see and hear the injustice that plague non-white people each and every day.

Choose to not be a white moderate, who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice - remember that shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will and lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection [MLK JR].

Make the choice to listen, to understand your bias, to understand why there's no such thing as "reverse racism" and to see outside your limited perspective.

Make the choice to be better.

To my black friends, family, neighbors and strangers, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have to live in a world where your story isn't heard, where there are too many experiences to share that your life doesn't seem to count as much as others and where you have to carry the weight and burden of fear, racism and injustice.

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I believe that justice is meant to roll down like a river and righteousness like a never-failing stream so I will say #blacklivesmatter. Again, and again, and again.

A letter to my younger self.

Life is hard. That's normal and it's okay. Trying to figure out why it's hard isn't really worth it. Just know that things that are hard are usually worth it. Life is worth it.

Your thoughts and feelings may not always match what people say you should think or feel. Your goals and desires may not look like how others define success.

You may see things reflected in the world around you or in the church about how women should be and it makes you scratch your head because you and many of the women you know don't fit in those boxes. Constantly, you'll hear, you should, you should, you should ... but you don't have to listen to it.

That urge you have to shrink down in your seat, to cross your arms, to hunch over, to withdraw to the corner or apologize for taking up space is going to be there, but you don't have to listen to it.

That immediate response you have to apologize when someone bumps into you or when you stumble over your words will be on the tip of your tongue, but you don't have to say it.

You don't have to be anything or check off the should boxes.  You never have to make yourself small. You never have to apologize for taking up space.

You were meant to live big. To live into your gifts and into your strengths. When people stay true to themselves and live into who they were created to be...that's big and that's powerful.

You carry a lot of shame and that makes you feel small.

Shame knows no boundaries. It eats at our souls and constantly makes us believe we're not enough. But we don't have to listen to it.

Shame makes us believe something is wrong with us. That we are wrong. That we can't be who we are. But that's a lie.

Shame flourishes in the dark. It whispers that no one will understand, that we can't admit to this and we're the only one.

That's bullshit.

We are meant to be who we are.We are meant to take up space. We are not meant to be silent. We are meant to speak our truth.

So who should you be?

You should be you. Your full self with all of the messiness, anxiety, joy, love, anger, sadness, craziness, humor and personality that makes you, you.

You are powerful.

You are strong.

You are enough.

You can do hard things.

You can be brave.

So be who you are and by doing that you'll help others find the freedom and confidence to do the same.

We're all connected.

There’s a lot of division around us these days…it’s an election year so I guess that’s to be expected. But it's about more than just politics.

What is most striking to me with all the debates, with all the finger pointing, with all the hate and fear and talk of shutting down our borders is that we’ve forgotten to see the humanity in people. Finger pointing, fear mongering and exclusion create space for the humanity of people to be erased.

We should never seek to erase people. We should never forget each other.

I think in pictures most of the time. When I think of the world and humanity, I have always pictured all of us connected. It’s like there’s a thin string connecting each of us to one another.

All beautifully different, but still connected. We need to look past what makes us call someone “other” and see the humanity in one another. We need to recognize that we are not separate.

Richard Rohr says,

A saint sees things in their connectedness. They don't see everything as separate. It's all one. What you do to your neighbor, you do to yourself and how you love yourself is how you love your neighbor. How you love God is how you love yourself and how you love yourself is how you love God. It's all one. How you do anything is how you do everything.

It's like we've forgotten that we're supposed to love one another. For too long we’ve dehumanized people. For too long we’ve put some lives over other’s lives. For too long we’ve promoted a message that some people, whether it’s because of where they live, where they were born, what color their skin is, what their occupation is or how much money they have, they are more important than another.

This way of thinking has become engrained in our systems, in our actions, in the words we say, in the way we treat each other, in the way we vote, the policies we support and sometimes even the things we preach.

For too long we have forgotten to truly see each other and to see how we are all connected.

I believe God created each and every single person. And therefore, they deserve to be seen. They deserve to be treated with love, dignity and respect. I know I don’t always do this well, so I’m asking God to help me see.

Help me see how we are all connected. Remind me that we belong to one another. Help me recognize that we each have the image of God stamped on us.

Richard Rohr goes on to say,

Faith is recognizing things in their deepest meaning. To be a person of faith means to see people as inherently connected to God and connected to yourself and therefore they must be worthy of love and dignity.

To me, when I see that connection between myself and someone else things make more sense and become clear. It makes sense why we would want to welcome the stranger. It leads to a deeper understanding of why we need to declare Black Lives Matter. It helps us see that people don't deserve to be treated less than and that the table is big enough for everyone.

We begin to see the error in exclusivity and that any kind of theology or policy that dehumanizes or marginalizes people is not truth.

We begin to recognize that string that connects each of us to one another.

This is my prayer for myself and for you today...

May we seek to be saints who see our connectedness. Who do not forget about each other.

May we have the courage to speak out against the systems, the actions and the policies that seek to erase and dehumanize people.

May we seek to be people of faith that see the world more deeply and realize that how we do anything is how we do everything.

May we seek to affirm the dignity in every person we meet.

May we move from just seeing others to recognizing the image of God represented in them.

Amen.

What Living Means to Me.

Probably at least once a month I ask the question, What is life? What does it even mean? Why are we even here? What's the point? I basically have an existential crisis on the regular.

The other day while I was brushing my teeth I was thinking about this. (What...am I the only person who has an existential crisis while brushing my teeth?) Why do we get up and do life every day? What are other people's motivations for going through life? What's the point of life? How is it that someone who does a repetitive monotonous job every day can have more joy than someone who claims to be doing exactly what they want to do? The questions continued tumbling in my brain, but then a thought stopped the tumbling.

The point of life is to live.

Duh, right?

I think this idea "to live" can mean different things to different people.

To me "to live" means to be fully who I am.

It means to do things that make me come alive.

It means finding joy in the little things and when I can't do that resting in the knowledge that one day soon I'll be able to again.

It means to love and invest in the people around me.

It means finding gratitude in what I've been given.

It means embracing wonder and being remarkably curious.

It means moving forward and growing.

It means acknowledging all the seasons of life and understanding we don't always live in a world of summers.

It means accepting all the parts of myself, the parts I don't like, the parts I love, and the parts I would rather ignore.

It means desiring wholeness and doing the hard work it takes to live into wholeness.

It means resting in my God-breathed worth and doing my damnedest to treat each and every person I come in contact with knowing they have God-breathed worth too.

It means realizing the point of life is to live. We aren't here to just exist and float through life. We're meant to be who we are. We're meant to love each other well. We're meant to be a part of something bigger than ourselves that involves a whole lot of love and a whole lot of wholeness...some people call it shalom.

The world needs more people who realize the point of life is to live! One of my all-time favorite quotes is from Howard Thurman:

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Figure out what makes you come alive. Figure out what living means to you.

Because the world needs you.

The world needs more people to be who they are and not who they think they should be.

It needs more people to come alive.