37 Things.

I abandoned this annual birthday tradition a few years ago, but I decided it was time to bring it back! Here are 37 things from my 37th year of life:

1. We bought a house! This was definitely the highlight and also the most stressful part of the year. 

2. Being a cat parent is one of my favorite things. I think cats need better PR because before I had them I thought they were anti-social and assholes, but that’s not true (most of the time at least…). Our cats love to cuddle, be wherever we are, and are so sweet.

3. We did a few small trips not far from us, and took one big trip to Michigan to meet our new niece and Maryland for Joe’s cousin’s wedding.

4. At the beginning of last year I said 2025 would be slow and steady and it’s been one of the biggest roller coasters of a year 😂 

5. I have a new niece! Eliana Joy joined the family in September.

6. I’ve had a lot of doctors appointments for different things this year and some experiences have been traumatic and I wish people would do better. It has given me opportunities to learn to advocate for myself, but also it sucks. 

7. It was a full year as the Training Manager at the Financial Empowerment Network. I love my job and I’ve never worked somewhere with such a healthy work culture! I’ve worked with incredible people and have learned a lot. 

8. I served on the board of directors for Wisdom Tree Collective - where I got my spiritual direction certificate. At the end of the year I officially became the Board Chair! This is a first for me and I’m a bit nervous, but I couldn’t ask for a better team to be working with on this. 

9. Even though I left my full-time job teaching Mental Health First Aid (MHFA), I was still able to teach a few MHFA classes in the community and I love it. 

10. Dr. Heather Cox Richardson is one of the reasons I’ve kept my sanity among the shit show of current events in the year. If you don’t read her daily newsletters or watch her videos, run, don’t walk. She is so good at calmly explaining what’s happening in our world and tying it into history too.

11. I’ve pretty consistently gone to kickboxing and it remains one of my favorite forms of movement! Punching and kicking a bag helps me actually feel very calm inside and turns my brain off.

12. I got to visit Nashville, which is always nice. I met Jenn’s new baby and went to a Belmont game to see Jessica coach. 

13. I have eaten way too many Outshine coconut and pina colada popsicles. They’re so good!  

14. Attended a lobby day in Olympia to advocate with the Poverty Action Network. It was the first time I’ve met with my state lawmakers in person and I learned a lot!

15. I read 95 books. A few of my favorites were: Sunny Side Up by Katie Sturino, These Summer Storms, and Remarkable Bright Creatures. I read mostly thrillers and romantasy, but I made an effort to read more books out of my comfort zone!

16. I had a goal to play on a real tennis team and get USTA rated. I played on 2 teams and got to go to our sectionals tournament. I’ve also been taking lessons and would play tennis every day if I could! 

17. There was some good TV! A few shows I enjoyed: Shrinking, really anything on Dropout, All Her Fault, and Eyes of Wakanda. And of course Below Deck Med when you just need some good mindless reality tv.

18. I had a goal this year to get good at one signature dish and dessert. So if you ever want to come over for beef and broccoli and apple crisp let me know!

19. Started a book club with my team at work. It’s my first time in a book club and I love it!

20. I crashed part of my parents Florida trip and hung out with them for a few days. I always love spending time with them and it was nice to see the sun in March!

21. Received my Trauma of Money certificate. It was an 18 week course and I learned so much! It was powerful to think about our money stories and why we make the decisions we do with money. I’m excited that I can integrate the trauma of money insights into my trauma-informed financial conversations workshop. (If you want to hear this workshop or are looking for financial coaching - let me know!)

22. We got goats! Well…for a week. We had to clear out lots of blackberry bushes and ivy so we hired some goats. They were very cute, but also did escape at one point causing a lot of stress and panic.

23. I attended a conference in Chicago for work and got to see my friends Anna and Katie! It’s always nice being back in the Midwest, seeing Lake Michigan and having time with forever friends.

24. Joe and I took a fun getaway weekend to a nice hotel for his bday. On this trip we found the best gluten free pizza I’ve ever had!

25. I re-started my business and re-branded as Roots & Renewal. I’m providing spiritual direction, Enneagram coaching, Mental Health First Aid, financial coaching and workshops on trauma-informed workplaces, trauma of money, and the Enneagram. Let me know if you or someone you know is interested in spiritual direction, coaching, or workshops! :)

26. Saw one of my favorite musicians, Joy Oladokun, and my favorite band, Johnnyswim in concert. Live music, especially when it’s artists I love, makes me so happy.

27. I took a fun trip to Yakima with my friend Mandy for a Black goddess author event! It was my first time attending an author event and it was really cool hearing straight from the authors about their books. They were also so nice and lovely to meet!

28. I played lots of games! I started playing DND which was fun, Joe and I play Forest Shuffle often which is my new favorite game. I also went to a Bunco party and I loved it.

29. Almost had a mental breakdown picking the paint color for my office. It was a journey finding the right color for my office. Six colors and multiple trips to the paint store later and I found something I love!

30. I spent lots of time with my family. My parents came to visit a few times, we saw my aunt, uncle and cousins on their way back from an Alaska cruise, we threw my parents a 70th  birthday bash and went to Joe’s cousins wedding. 

31. I learned a lot more about my ADHD and neurodivergence or as I like to call it, my neuro-spiciness! It’s so freeing to realize nothings wrong with me, and I let go of lots of guilt and shame. I’m learning to work with my brain and not mask as much. Timers, body doubling, movement, and medication have been lifesavers! 

32. I didn’t listen to as many podcasts as I usually do. Mostly just listened to the Popcast and Pantsuit Politics.

33. I set up more consistent routines to talk with people regularly and see people more often which always makes me happy!

34. It was the first full year of our current administration (round two) and what a shit show…It’s been a year of trying to keep my sanity amidst the chaos and heartbreaking actions happening while also resisting and pushing back where I can. This could be ten thousand blog posts about this topic, but for the sake of brevity…operating from a place of oppression, hate and othering of anyone who’s different than you, and disregard for the law and democracy are not values that should be leading this country.

35. Medication for my mental health has been a game changer for me. As my husband likes to remind me, “If your brain can’t make the chemicals, store bought is fine!”

36. I found routines and tricks that work for me and my health. I have a new migraine protocol that helps manages my migraines. I got a Rebounder trampoline and jumping has become one of my favorite nervous system regulation tools.

37. Joe and I celebrated 1 year of marriage. 5 stars, would marry him again.

I started this year thinking it would be a year of calm and steadiness and I couldn’t have been more wrong! It was a roller coaster and a really hard year on various levels, but it made me so grateful for the people in my life. Because amidst all the hard, I never felt alone.

May year 38 be one filled with good surprises, time with loved ones, gluten free pizza, escape from reality books, resistance to injustice, lots of tennis, and opportunities to grow and love along the way! 

33 Things.

My 33rd trip around the sun has come to a close and it’s time for one of my favorite practices of the year. This annual rhythm helps me reflect on my last year and make sure I don’t miss out on recognizing all that I learned and experienced. The list is long so here goes!

1. I got a new job! This wasn’t exactly anticipated for this year, but I randomly stumbled upon a job description that I couldn’t believe was real because it was basically my dream job. I’m now the Staff Resilience Coordinator for the Tacoma-Pierce County Health Department. I get to help take care of the staff and focus on employee well-being and resilience. I’ll also be doing a lot of work around helping TPCHD become a trauma-informed organization. In my first two weeks I planned a three-day wellness event and the whole time I just couldn’t believe I was getting paid for it.

2. My plants are still alive! I’ve only had one plant die, but I’ve officially kept four plants alive for a year!

3. I began studying for my Spiritual Direction Certification through the Wisdom Tree Collective program. I’ve wanted to become an official spiritual director for years, but the timing never worked or I couldn’t find a program that I felt aligned with. When my Spiritual Director told me about this opportunity to study with her it couldn’t have been more divine, aligned timing. I have learned so much already and I’m excited about what’s ahead.

4. I got a Costco membership. It’s everything I hoped it would be.

5. I trained for a 5K with a friend…I said I was retired from running and that I would never do it again and yet I heard myself say yes when she asked if I wanted to train for a 5K. We did it and dare I say…I kinda enjoyed it and the 5K was fun. Maybe I’m out of running retirement for a bit.

6. Jenn, Jessica, Katie, and Maria came to visit throughout the year and it was lovely. It meant a lot to have them come see my new home and get to show them around my city. Can’t wait for more visitors in the future!

7. I took tennis and golf lessons with a friend. I LOVED it. It was good for me to do something I wasn’t great at (tennis) and see myself improve and then it was also nice to take something I’m already decent at (golf) but see myself get better.

8. Even though traveling wasn't as abundant this season because of COVID I’m grateful for the few trips I got to do and that there’s so many accessible, beautiful places to see in Washington!

9. Our family welcomed a new baby! My nephew Wyatt Bradley Mennemeier joined the crew February 19th and we all love him so.

10. I took Dr. Christena Cleveland’s Liberating the Mind-Body-Spirit from White Supremacy class and it was one of the most powerful experiences I’ve ever had. You can take the class too and its’ worth every. single. penny. Sign up here: https://www.sacredfolk.com/ecourse

11. Whenever I see a seal when I’m walking by the water I turn into a child and get so excited. (For context, I see at least one probably every 2-3 times I walk by the water, which is often, but I still get excited every time!)

12. I started seeing a new therapist and she is exactly who I need for this season of life.

13. I can wake up early. I’m still not a morning person, but I’ve been getting up at 5am a few mornings a week to run or walk with a good friend and it’s turned into one of the most life giving practices for me. The movement and time with a friend…not the 5am call time.

14. I went on some not great dates. Doesn’t a date where the guy describes in detail every strip club he went to in Vegas sound like a dream!?!?

15. This year was the Year of My Body. I did a lot of healing and connecting work with my body and it was deeply transformational. I did recovery work for disordered eating and I found and engaged with movement practices that I actually like. I made doctor’s appointments I was avoiding and tried to figure out health stuff. I think this work is what I’m most proud of this year.

16. TV shows were a comfort and escape for me per usual. I started rewatching Grey’s Anatomy, I know why?!? Who knows, but I needed something familiar. But I, once again, only made it to when Christina leaves before I lost interest. Ted Lasso brought me a lot of joy and was my favorite this year.

17. Almost every Saturday I walked to the Farmer’s Market and bought 3 flower stems. I used to buy a whole bouquet, but realized that I like the less is more approach more often than not. Fresh flowers are my favorite.

18. I found good gluten free cinnamon rolls in Tacoma!

19. I’ve now lived in my apartment for a year and it’s everything I hoped it would be. It’s cozy, comfortable, and brings me so much peace. I can walk to the farmer’s market, library, post office, grocery store, and coffee shops. I can see the Sound and mountains on my walks around the neighborhood. I’ve enjoyed living alone and the way that’s allowed me to get to know myself in a new way this year.

20. So grateful for the vaccine and how it’s protecting the most vulnerable and protecting against death and severe sickness for so many.

21. I’ve had so much time with family and it’s just the best. I mean that’s why I moved out here, but experiencing just ordinary days and birthday parties and school pick up and football games has been a joy.

22. I started seeing a naturopathic doctor and it’s really helped with my anxiety of seeing doctors and feeling like I’m seen as a whole person.

23. I bought an alarm clock that wakes you up with light and mellow music and vitamin D drops to help get through these super dark winter PNW times.

24. I participated in a restorative justice and healing circle training. I really appreciated it and learned a lot. It was a powerful experience. I’m so grateful that part of my job is participating in things like that.

25. I was influenced by Instagram and podcasts and bought Olive and June nail polish. It really does live up to the hype.

26. I went to a couple OL Reign games and I hope I get to go to more this next season.

27. In the summer I went back to Michigan for a family reunion and my annual friendcation trip. It was a week full of gratitude for the people who have been present and loved me for a long time and how lucky I am to still see them.

28. Every Friday night I have pizza and movie night with Jake, Em, Jonah, and Opie and it’s one of my favorite parts of the week.

29. I got to make a brief visit to Nashville and even though it felt a little weird with COVID and not being able to see as many people, this trip really helped with some closure for me. Moving away at the beginning of the pandemic, in a way that I wasn’t expecting, without being able to say bye to people and leave like I wanted to was really hard, this trip helped heal some of those wounds and grief for me.

30. I’ve acquired quite the record collection and I’ve really enjoyed listening to records. It just feels like there’s a little more intentionality in it and I’m loving listening to my mom’s old records. (Thanks mom for gifting them to me!)

31. Figured out Cinnamon Chex is a great gluten-free alternative to Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

32. I started making my bed every day again. I get why it’s a thing and helps you feel like you’ve at least accomplished one thing already so early in the day.

33. Last year I ended my 32 Things post with, "Year 33...may you be filled with joy amidst the pain, the kind of discomfort that spurs growth, continued resistance to systems of oppression, peaceful rest, good friends, beautiful views, thriving plants, fulfilled desires, and an even deeper movement into being my most authentic self.” I think year 33 lived up to all of that. And for that I’m so, so grateful.

Year 34…may you be full of fun, connection, and action. May you continue to bring the right people, experiences, and possibilities my way. May I love deeply and grow and heal and transform. May it be a year of good friends, family time, deep connections, gluten free cinnamon rolls, feeling my feelings, moving my body, life-giving activities, and lots of moments experiencing beautiful things and people.

Cheers to year 34!

32 Things.

It’s time for one of my favorite practices of the year! This annual birthday rhythm always helps me look back and remember the silly, serious, hard, and fun times. This was the last sentence of my post last year…”32...I would love for you to be a little bit kinder than 31 was…” Year 32 was definitely not kinder than year 31, but such is life so here we go.

32 things from my 32nd year of life:

1. I moved to Tacoma, Washington. I’m officially a resident of the PNW! The move happened two months after I planned, I ended up moving by myself, all during a pandemic. It wasn’t what I expected, to say the least, but I made it. Nothing about this move has gone as I planned or expected, but that was basically the theme of year 32.

2. COVID. There’s a lot that could be said here, but living through a global pandemic is no joke and the devastation of losing loved ones and the world turning upside down is a lot. It’s been a year of grief and change collectively and individually.

3. I sold my house, lived with various family, and eventually moved into a new apartment! Going from your own house to living out of suitcases and one bedroom for 9 months was a big transition. I’m in my own apartment now and I love it!

4. I drove across the country by myself. It took about four days to get from Michigan to Washington. It was thankfully an uneventful drive and went smoothly. I also would rather not make that drive again anytime soon, driving across North Dakota is not fun.

5. I started a new job! I’m the Director of Resource Development at Communities In Schools of Tacoma. I spent 10 months job hunting. It was awful, exhausting, emotional, and just really hard. I’m happy with where I am and I’m looking forward to learning and growing in this position.

6. I am obsessed with the views in Tacoma. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at the mountains and water.

7. My lifeline to get through this really hard year was my people. Technology allowed me to stay connected to friends. My family took care of me when I had no idea what to do with myself. Marco Polo became a constant. I grew so much closer to some friends and I’ve met a few great friends in Tacoma, even amidst this time of wearing masks, only being able to hang out outside, and social distancing. 

8. I read A LOT of books this year. Escaping into fiction was 100% my top coping mechanism in 2020.

9. I operate, at minimum, at a low level of rage pretty much at all times. About systems of oppression and injustice, the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and many others, the people who refuse to wear masks for the sake of protecting others especially the most vulnerable, how COVID disproportionately impacts communities of color, how white supremacy and racism permeates the air we breath and every system in America, the domestic terrorists who stormed the capital and the trauma that results in a failed coup and impact of seeing the blatant display of white supremacy that white individuals can commit crimes and just walk back out the front door without consequence, a president that lies, promotes conspiracy theories, and incites violence, white people who think we can just post a black square on Instagram for one day and think that’s enough, fires that rage because of climate change, and the list could go on.  

10. I tried to make watercolor painting a hobby. I’m terrible at it, but I enjoy it.

11. Really learned what it’s like to feel multiple feelings at once. I often felt immense gratitude and debilitating grief, I was angry and sad, and also happy, felt lonely and felt so much love from my people. There’s room for all of it. 

12. I had a positive doctor experience. I have lots of baggage around doctors and I actually had a great doctor interaction this year.

13.  I don’t love cooking. I went 9 months living with family and our arrangement was I would do the dishes every night if I didn’t have to make dinner and it was LOVELY. Now that I’m back on my own I’m realizing I really don’t love cooking.

14. The dark chocolate covered raisins from Trader Joe’s are so good. 

15.  I went to Maui. Sometimes I forget that happened because my 32nd year of life very much exists in a pre-COVID/post-COVID timeline. Maui was literally right before the world shut down. But it was beautiful and I’m so glad I got to go.

16. I have found a deep love for fresh flowers. I got so much joy going to the farmer’s market and buying fresh flowers. They’re beautiful.

17.  Leaving Nashville was one of the hardest things I did. Leaving a place where I lived my  whole adult life and had friends who were family was really hard. My friends threw me a great going away party and I loved seeing so many people I love in one place.

18. TV I watched: Schitts Creek, The Good Place, Designated Survivor, Never Have I Ever, Station 19, Little Fires Everywhere, blackAF, Bridgerton, Queen of the South, Ted Lasso

19. I deleted Instagram a few different times throughout the year and I was surprised how much I didn’t miss it. It’s become a regular rhythm for when I need to eliminate some inputs and feel like I’m on sensory overload.

20. Walks saved me this year. The regular rhythm of taking walks and listening to podcasts, catching up on Marco Polos, calling a friend, or just being silent were good for my soul.

21. I tend to be”okay” if everyone around me and that I love is okay...this year no one was really ever okay and it caused a reckoning for me to deal with if I was really okay. Not surprising...I wasn’t okay. A hard, but good truth for me to realize. 

22. Realized I can only last about 1.5 hours on a video call. Any longer and I lose it. I, along with everyone else in the world I’m sure, have a love/hate relationship with technology. Love that it keeps us connected, but also staring at a screen all day cannot be good for us. 

23. I told a story one day to Opie about an Enchanted Forest and it became a whole thing. Jonah and I made books about different stories and it was so fun! I was the author, Jonah the illustrator, and Opie…the creative assistant. Lots of fun adventures for Jonah, Opie, and their friend Ruby with talking animals, a wise woman, and mysteries to solve.

24. My snack of choice has become cereal. A bowl of fruity pebbles is sometimes just what I need. 

25. I spent six or so days helping my brother out with my niece and nephew when my sister-in-law had to go out of town. I learned three year olds have a lot of opinions at 6am when they crawl in your bed, it’s also hard to get that same three year old out of the door on time for preschool, and parents have to think of 20 million things at one time. I got a taste of being a parent and I’m more than happy to stick with being an Auntie!

26. My favorite gift of the year was a pillow designed to help with acid reflux. Not sure what this says about me or my life, but let me just say it’s a game changer!

27. I came to the realization that just because I’m aware of something doesn’t mean I’m dealing with it. I’m great at repressing, minimizing my pain and feelings, and thinking that because I know what’s happening to me or that I know why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling that’s the same as dealing with it. I tend to see it, name it, and then repress it real far down. A lot of those things I’ve shoved down over the last 18 months came back to be dealt with this year. Thank God for therapy.

28. I discovered the goodness that is Costco. I had never been before I moved to Tacoma. I’ve gotten my mattress, my comfiest sweatpants and socks, the best gluten free pizza, and so many good treats from there. 

29. In a year of pretty much staying at home I did get to go on a fun camping trip and beach trip with my family.

30. It was a year of transition. I never felt like I was on solid footing. I had no roots anywhere. Everything in the world was uncertain along with my own life. I had uprooted my whole life, had no job or my own place to live, and had no idea what was coming or what would happen. That liminal space was one of discomfort and growth for sure. 

31. I’m officially a plant mom and I am determined to keep all my children alive. 

32. My phrase for the year was embody authenticity. It surely didn’t look how I thought it would, but I did it. A lot of really shitty things happened in the world and in my own life, but I’m proud of myself for how I navigated it. It wasn’t always pretty, my anxiety and depression were constant companions, I experienced deep loneliness, but I did it. 32 was a year of grief, transition, uncertainty, and gratitude, growth, and resilience.

Year 33...may you be filled with joy amidst the pain, the kind of discomfort that spurs growth, continued resistance to systems of oppression, peaceful rest, good friends, beautiful views, thriving plants, fulfilled desires, and an even deeper movement into being my most authentic self. 

31 Things.

It’s that time of year again...my birthday and one of my favorite annual rhythms.

Here’s 31 things that I’ve learned, experienced, and loved from my 31st year.

1. I got in a car accident in April. I’ve never had something disrupt my life quite like this accident has. I started here because it shaped most of my year unfortunately. I received a pretty bad concussion which has made my 31st year basically pass in a fog. I don’t remember a lot from the year and haven’t felt like myself for 9 months. Even as I type this I hear a quiet voice in my head that says, “It really wasn’t that big of a deal. You’re fine…” For awhile after the accident I listened to that voice and kept living life as normal. I could win an award for my ability to minimize my problems and ignore my needs, but apparently that’s not a good thing when you have a head injury. I learned this the hard way as I entered one of the most difficult seasons of my life. That feels dramatic even typing that, but it’s the truth. They call concussions invisible injuries and that is exactly how it feels. You look fine and seem okay, but I haven’t been okay. Emotionally, physically, mentally...it has wrecked me in every way and has just been really hard. I’ve been seeing a doctor every week for the last eight months and entering my ninth month of recovery and it sucks. Luckily I’m healing and hopefully close I a full recovery. All the prayers, thoughts, good vibes, and fingers crossed that I’m officially released from care within the next couple of months. 

2. One of the most helpful pieces of wisdom I received during this season was when I was telling a friend about it all. I was trying to say at least I was learning things from the experience. She stopped me and said, “Abby, sometimes things just suck and you don’t have to get a lesson from it. They’re just really hard.” It was freeing and a game changer for me. 

3. I decided to move to Tacoma, Washington and I leave Nashville in mid-March. This past year I’ve felt my values shifting and part of that was realizing I wanted to be closer to my family and be an in-person rather than a long-distance aunt. I chose the family who lives near lots of water, mountains, and evergreens (Sorry Mom, Dad, and Bets). Making this decision simultaneously brought me so much excitement and broke my heart. It comes with a lot of big feelings and I’m learning to make room for all of them.

4. I said goodbye to the car I just bought a year before and had to buy a new car (refer to point #1) and am now the owner of a Buick. Yes, the same type of car both my grandma and parents drive, but I really like it. Thank you past concussed Abby for still making a good choice of car.

5. Moving on from the Debbie Downer and big life moments, let’s talk about lipstick. One of my goals for 2019 was to wear more lipstick. I did it and I love it.

6. I tried float therapy for the first time and it’s amazing. You’re basically floating in salt water with total sensory deprivation and it’s a total mind, body, and soul reset.

7. Some of the TV I watched: Raising Dion, Patriot Act, Madame Secretary, Outlander, Superstore, Game of Thrones (disclaimer: I only technically watched like five episodes of Game of Thrones, but since I couldn’t watch screens I would lay on the couch while my incredible roommate gave me complete recaps of the episodes. Jenn’s ability to recap a show is a gift and one of her many talents).

8. Parking at the airport is a game changer and made all my work travels a lot easier.

9. I was interviewed on the podcast, No Body Asked for This. A podcast taking down diet culture and helping so many of us unlearn the toxic beliefs and ideas we’ve been taught about our bodies. I’ve done a good amount of podcast interviews, but this one was the most vulnerable I’ve ever done. I talked about my story in relation to my body. I went from never talking about this topic to being on a podcast about it, but I’m glad I did it. If you want to listen, you can find it here.

10. I was able to do that podcast interview because I started seeing a nutrition therapist this year. It’s changed my life and I could write pages and pages about it, but there’s already too many deep and serious points in this post.

11. One of my birthday traditions is going to see a movie by myself. This year I saw Little Women and I LOVED it. It’s always been one of my favorite stories and I loved it so much.

12. I watched my friends do really cool things this year - start businesses and podcasts, switch jobs, buy houses, have babies, get engaged, face their fears, decide to move...I’m very proud of them. Women are bad asses and I know some pretty great ones. 

13. I really love NYC. I was able to go twice this year. Once in January to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - which was incredible! And in the fall to watch Becca run the NYC marathon. It will always be one of my favorite places.

14. Some of the podcasts I listened to: Catlick, The Popcast with Knox and Jamie, Root of Evil, To Live and Die in LA, I didn’t have much mental space to listen to anything that caused me to think so there was a lot of true crime and pop culture listening.

15. Selling a house is no joke and a lot of work. I purged my house and got rid of A TON of stuff as I prepared to move! It felt so freeing and good, but it’s something that’s not easy for me. I was very proud of myself.

Photo by @morganharpernichols via Instagram.

16. Became even more obsessed with the artist and poet Morgan Harper Nichols. Her stuff is amazing and inspiring. I want a print of pretty much everything she does.

17. I collected some interesting dating stories this year. 

18. Started using the Marco Polo app and I LOVE it. It’s a great way to stay in touch with people. I’m officially a fan.

19. Some of the music I listened to: Johnnyswim, Lizzo, Harry Styles, and the Avett Brothers.

20. I wouldn’t have made it through this year without therapy and spiritual direction. They’ve literally saved my life.

21. I’ve learned to really love the silence.

22. I did my first ever keynote speech at a conference and it went really well! My friend Hunter connected me to this opportunity and I’m so grateful. It was on my list for something I wanted to accomplish in 2019 so I was excited to cross that off my list. I also was a part of an online Enneagram summit. While my business pretty much came to a standstill after my accident I was able to do some things this year professionally that were fulfilling. I’ve fallen even more in love with teaching and speaking too.

23. I finally came to terms with the fact that I don’t really like fancy coffee drinks. I’ve tried all the different combos and they’re just not for me. I will take a decaf Americano or some type of tea every time. 

Photo by @ryanpernofski via instagram

24. I decided I really like gin and tonics.

25. When I’m stressed, I look at the Instagram account, @ryanpernofski and it calms me down.

26. I came to the end of what I could do and accomplish and had to quit some things. Sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do for yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. 

27. Instagram has become one of my greatest tools for learning. Some of my favorite follows: @joluehmann, @whollyhealed, @confessionsofamuslimmom, @iamrachelricketts, @christenacleveland, and @drterimurphy. (Also, don’t forget that these women generate so much good, free content so compensate them or whoever you learn from when possible!)

28. I started taking elderberry gummy vitamins, they’re delicious and great for immune support.

29. I participated in an Enneagram and Contemplative Practices cohort led by Joe Stabile and Hunter Mobley. I went to Dallas four times this year and met so many incredible people! I learned so much, which was great, and I also made lasting friendships.  

30. I traveled a lot. I decided that being gone sometimes 2-3 times a month isn’t for me. It’s exhausting and I got really burned out. Most of the travel was work related, but I also had fun trips to Denver, Birmingham, Michigan, and Florida.

31. Realized I really like who I am. I don’t know when the shift happened for me, but I took this random selfie one day and my first thought when I saw it was, “I really like her.” My phrase for this year is Embody Authenticity. I’m walking into 32 ready to embody all of who I am as I enter a season of a whole lot of change, adventure, and possibility.

32...I would love for you to be a little bit kinder than 31 one was, but cheers to the year ahead! 

30 Things.

Welcome to one of my favorite traditions of the year! My annual recap of things I loved, liked, learned and lost…I actually don’t think there’s anything I lost on this list, I was just going for the alliteration.

Every year I do this on my birthday. It’s like a digital scrapbook. It’s fun to go back and read past ones, starting at my 22nd year of life and see that A. I’ve actually been blogging that long…what?!?! B. So many things are still the same. C. So many things are very different. D. I’m thankful for this tradition and the rhythm of reflection it initiates.

Here are 30 things from my 30th year of life:

1.) I have a new niece! I’m officially an auntie to 7 blood nieces and nephews and a few other nieces and nephews-in-love and it’s just the best. Makes Christmas more expensive and I’m racking up those airline credit card points, but it’s worth it.

2.) I started the practice of lighting candles every day as a way to be present and center myself.

3.) I became gluten free. Ugh. I could go on, but who likes the person that talks incessantly about their food allergies. No one, that’s who.

4.) Two of my friends and I moved a literal tree that fell across a road that was blocking our path to get to a conference. It was raining, one of us had a boot cast on and it was dark. At one point I said, “we can’t do this.” Sara looked at me and said, “Don’t say we can’t because we can.” And then we moved the tree. Now we have a new life mantra and don’t worry, we can draw so many life metaphors from this experience.

5.) Tried using an all electronic calendar system. Didn’t work. Paper planners for life!

6.) Sought to learn from and listen to more non-white people and those of the global majority especially black and indigenous women. Really was confronted with my own racism and what it means to truly engage in anti-racism work and what it means to do my own work of uprooting that racism and white supremacy in my own life. Part of this is learning that discomfort is a gift and it’s okay to be uncomfortable. Some people I’ve learned a lot from this year: Rachel Ricketts, Rachel Cargle, Christena Cleveland, Layla Saad, Kaitlin Curtice, Saira Siddiqui and Austin Channing Brown. Listen to them, learn from them, and compensate them for their work.

7.) I bought a new to me car. I love it and am grateful for it every day.

8.) I signed up for TSA pre-check. Best decision I made all year. I did a lot of traveling this year and TSA pre-check was a game changer.

9.) I went on a great vacation to one of the best places on Earth (Northern Michigan) with most my family except for the Chapman’s because they were busy having a baby (Refer to point #1). The WHOLE family was together for Christmas…16 people under one roof. We just love each other even more after all that time together…also, we now all currently have colds.

10.) I began a job as the Assistant Director of Coach Approach Inc. and Day 7 Ministries. We help nonprofit professionals and pastors get connected to self-care resources so they can lead healthy and sustainable lives. I also went back to my marketing job for a couple months to cover for my former boss’ maternity leave. And was trained in a new role as a Search Specialist with Ministry Architects. I’m grateful for all that I can learn from my various employment opportunities!

11.) Some movies and TV watched: Black Panther, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, Avengers, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, Queer Eye, Outlander, Supergirl, The Hate U Give, Son of Patricia - Trevor Noah, Patriot Act with Hasan Minaj.

12.) I went to Argentina with a group of Trevecca students. I know I can’t know exactly what it’s like being a mom, but leading a group of college students across the world definitely gives me a glimpse.

13.) My business is alive and well. I get so much joy out of everything I get to do with Abby Buter Coaching. I was able to speak, lead workshops, work with organizations, host retreats and meet with clients one-on-one this year. I will never take for granted the honor it is to walk alongside others and hold space for them as they learn more about themselves.

14.) Lake Michigan will always be my peace place and center me. I was in Chicago for a conference and I was wandering around outside. I didn’t realize we were so close to the lake and as soon as I turned a corner and saw the lake, it’s like my soul was home (even though we all know that’s not the good side of Lake Michigan…). It’s kinda weird, but mostly magical.

15.) I packed a carry on for a ten day trip across three climates and three cities. One of my greatest accomplishments this year.

16.) ASMR Harry Potter rooms. Look it up. Listen to it when you have to concentrate or relax. You’re welcome.

17.) I realized I love wearing lipstick. You can feel like you’re falling apart, but a good, bold, red lip brings it all together.

18.) Some podcasts I listened to: The Popcast with Knox and Jamie, Doctor Death, 36 Questions, Truth’s Table, Code Switch.

19.) I learned what it meant to show inner hospitality to all the parts of myself. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the shadow, the light…they’re all a part of me. Showing them hospitality and acknowledging them has led to so much healing and growth for me.

20.) I saw Hamilton again. Worth. Every. Single. Penny.

21.) I continued going to spiritual direction monthly. If I had to point to one decision and regular rhythm that has made the greatest impact on my life the last four years, going to spiritual direction would be it.

22.) I found the Imaginarium community. I could write a lot of words about this. But all I’ll say for now is this is a community and people I’ve been looking for and I’m so grateful.

23.) Some books I read: Anam Cara by John O’Donohue, Becoming by Michelle Obama, The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas, So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y’all Don’t Even Know by Retta, What is the Bible by Rob Bell, Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi, We’re Going to Need More Wine by Gabreille Union, Whisper by Lynette Noni, Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology by Leah Remini, The Glittering Court Series by Richelle Mead. I read a lot…I tried to shorten this list, which this is the shortened list. I just really liked all these books.

24.) I went to Ireland! It was beautiful and magical. It has a special feel to it that’s hard to explain. I loved it.

25.) Tried to make slime with two four year olds…wouldn’t recommend it. When it’s not working and you’re frustrated you may hear one of those four year olds say, “Auntie I think you put too much moisture in there.”

26.) Some music I listened to: Johnnyswim, Hamilton, Avett Brothers, Janelle Monae and the radio.

27.) Went to NYC to celebrate Jenn’s 30th! It is my favorite city and I just love it! I’m going back next weekend to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child (ah!!). If you would like to witness how terrible I am at saying no, ask me to go to NYC with you. I’ll always find a way.

28.) Attended the Evolving Faith, Liturgists Gathering, the Festival of Faith and Writing and a few Enneagram workshops - these were all significant experiences for different reasons. The content, the speakers, the people I got to attend with and just the overall experience was special.

29.) I stopped writing this year. I guess for a lot of reasons. But I learned that I’m more fully alive and human when I’m writing. It’s like breathing to me. So the plan is to start that as a daily practice again.

30.) My word of the year was abundance. I shed a lot of my scarcity mindsets and saw abundance around every corner in many ways.

I loved being 30. I think I’m going to love being 31 too. My word for the year is Intentional and I’m excited about what’s ahead.

Here’s to year 31 and all the cups of happy!