Single.

Yup I'm single. Okay I know that is no secret, but I've been thinking about the state of "singleness" these days. I mean it's hard not to when lots of people around me are in a relationship and every week I seem to get a save the date or wedding invitation in the mail. And then here I am living my life, staying busy, and still single. I love my life and of course at this current moment I'm not sure where I would fit a relationship into my schedule, but anyway...

I think most single females would say they think about getting married and when that perfect boy will finally come along, but I've just gotten tired of always thinking "what's next' and "when?". Why do we feel like this time of singleness is just a time to hold out until what is next? Why do so many of us think there's something wrong with us if we aren't married by the time we're 23? There's nothing wrong with me and there's no reason for me to feel ashamed of being single at this point of my life because honestly sometimes people make me feel that way.

I was reading an article in Relevant magazine about singleness and it was really good. One thing it said was:

"Singleness is not a disease to be cured; it is a stage of life to be enjoyed. Too often, we try to rush through it." 

So I'm going to enjoy this time of my life. Honestly, I know there will still be times where I struggle and I think that's normal, but I think as single woman we need to re-adjust our way of thinking.  The author of the article leaves you with this challenge:

"I challenge you to revel in your singleness. Take pleasure in the down time. Don’t waste your time on “what ifs” and “if onlys,” but instead reap the benefits of where you are today, right now." 

Here's the link to the article if you're interested. It, of course, says things way better than I could:

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/blog/25590-single-and-not-alone

Also...random note, but one year ago this month I graduated from college. Weird.

I've got nothing.

I haven't posted in awhile because I really haven't had much to say. I was catching up with a friend last night and he asked how life was. My response basically came out as, "It's good. I mean it's not really good or bad or great or awful. At the moment it just is. I'm keeping really busy and it just keeps on going."

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in a funk, but there's just nothing going on. It's a moment in my life when if someone asks whats new there really isn't anything. I feel like I've been surrounded lately by lots of things going on in the people's lives around me, but nothing in my own. At times I get a little antsy for something exciting to happen so that when a friend calls to catch up I can say, "Actually there's this guy...or actually I'm going on this great vacation...or actually I have this crazy story..." But, I've got nothing.

This bothers me sometimes, but I'm trying to just enjoy the moment and the peacefulness of my calm mundane life at the moment (however, I do genuinely like my life no matter how boring it may seem). The non excitement of my own life is allowing me to better enjoy the excitement of others. haha

Since a blog post is boring without a few pictures...meet Maggie. She is the excitement in my friends Jenny and Patrick's life lately. She is the most precious baby and I love holding her...just my love and excitement for a friend's baby makes me think I'm going to be a mess when I'm an aunt some day!

One exciting thing that did happen was my Florida vacation with my family. I was so thankful for time we could all be together and it was tons of fun. That for sure didn't make me want to come back to my mundane life. :)

Weary.

Today a few people asked me if I was okay because I didn't look great. (They were quick to say not my appearance and I was quick to assure them I knew what they meant) :)

I knew what they meant because I knew what they were talking about it. I smiled today and I knew it didn't quite reach my eyes and that I appeared weighed down. I recently took the Strengths-finder survey and it said my top strength is Empathy. It makes so much sense. It explains why when something bad or unfair is happening to someone I care about it's hard for me to forget about it and not worry about it. That pretty much explains this weight and burden. But this verse keeps running through my head:

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Thank God for this statement. It gives me hope and I've found it to be so true. These burdens make me want to quit sometimes. I feel that pricking in the back of my mind that whispers to my soul, "Don't you wish you could live a care-free, "happy" life? You have the resources and the ability to live somewhere safer, to make more money, and to not be weighed down by others burdens." I would be lying if my mind doesn't entertain the idea for a minute, but then my heart and soul kick in. No I don't wish that. In fact, that's the last thing I want. The charge that keeps running through my mind is:

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.

 

So of course my life could be "easier", but I refuse to believe that's the way we're supposed to live. I know the charge Christ has placed on my life and I know I am exactly where He would have me be right now. The idea of living a nice, care-free, comfortable life while pursuing the American Dream is the exact opposite of what I believe as followers of Christ we should be pursuing. I know I'm meant to be a part of God's Kingdom coming to earth as it is in heaven and to love others the way Christ loves me. And if along this journey burdens come and I feel weary and life seems hard...well praise the Lord we serve a God who tells us He'll carry those burdens for us.

Thankful

I realized I haven't blogged in awhile...I guess that's what happens when time gets away from you. I sat down to write a deep and thoughtful post and I couldn't put my words together. My overwhelming thoughts these days are just filled with gratitude and joy. It's funny to look back to January and how I just felt in a dark place with not much going on and now I just feel lighter and able to find joy each day, especially in the little things these days:

All the trees are blooming here in Nashville and they're so pretty. The weather has been beautiful and I've laid outside in the sun the past two days. I don't need to spend money at the tanning bed to get ready for my upcoming Florida trip since I can just sit outside! Thankful.

I just love March and March Madness is one of the biggest reasons. I love college basketball and there's just something fun about filling out your brackets, watching upsets, and competing with your friends and family to see who has the best bracket. (However, it's not fun when your team loses...my poor Spartans.)

I know it may seem weird to be thankful for cereal, but I am. It's the only consistent thing I buy at the grocery each week and it just hits the spot. I'm especially thankful for my new found favorite cereal, Kroger brand blueberry almond crunch.

There's a lot more random little things I could post and these days I seem to find joy in the dumbest things like cereal, but hey I'm realizing we're not meant to go through our days thankless, cynical and pessimistic. So if I want to find joy in my late night bowl of Blueberry Almond Crunch cereal then so be it.

Oh Joy!

So in this blog here I decided to write a Joy for each day because I was having trouble finding joy in each day and I said, "I refuse to go through a day without stopping to see where God has worked and I don't want to take for granted any more the time I have." So I thought I would share some of the things I've found joy in the last month or so:

Monday, January 24th:  "Today I had the funniest conversation in my car with four of the most precious angels that I work with. We were driving from the gym back to Harvest Hands and one told me she only likes Jesus and God music so I turned off the radio and we sang "Who's the King of the Jungle". Except when they get to the part where you say "His name is J-E-S-U-S YES!" They all came to a dead stop at the same time and said, "Miss Abby we don't know how to spell Jesus!" So funny!

Tuesday, January 25th: Mandy and I went to the Adventure Science Center for their adults only after hours event and it was so fun! It was my first time going and an early birthday present for her! My favorite part: The Germ Game. Our team won every time!

Sunday, January 30th: My pastor and his wife, Jim and Jessica, came over for lunch and had a good time getting to know them better and spend time with their sweet baby Justus.

Wednesday, February 2nd: Civil Wars Concert with Amanda Lian. One word: Magical.

Tuesday, February 8th: Found out I could go to Florida with my family in April!!! 

Thursday, February 10th: Found out Jake got into PT school!

Monday, February 14th: Valentine's Day spent with these crazy boys, my 2/42 group and then finished the night at The Saucer.

Wednesday, February 16th: Saw Committed in concert! They're amazing and I was so glad I got to see them with Mandy, Tricia, and Jen.

Today, Sunday, February 27th: A wonderful time at church and a reminder of God's love for me and the blessing of a church family. Good time with friends, conversations in parking lots, Sunday afternoon naps, cereal for your 10:00 snack and a night to yourself.

I'm discovering sometimes it's the events, sometimes it's the people, and sometimes it's the little things that bring joy to my days. I'm excited to see what the rest of the year holds.