What an Experience...

So I went to the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA) conference in Cincinnati this past week. I went into it not knowing what to expect and therefore my expectations were highly surpassed. It rocked me and was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. I learned so much not only about community development but about myself and what God would have me do with my life. My new hero is John Perkins and I plan on reading every book he's written. And God has finally torn down some walls and opened my eyes to things that if I would have been listening sooner would have happened earlier but I finally got smart enough to listen. More to come on this later...

Check them out...
www.ccda.org

Overwhelmed and Angry.

Okay...honest blog here. Posted for the sole purpose of being specific about how I can be prayed for and what's going on...okay kind of a vent too I guess.

I'm just feeling overwhelmed with life at the moment. Too much to do. Going from class to class, homework assignment to homework assignment, obligation to obligation. I don't feel like there's always enough time in the day.
I feel like my life is spinning out of control and I'm just in a free fall. I realize this feeling of having no control could be good...but I don't consider myself quite a control freak where control is usually an issue in my life so the feeling I'm experiencing isn't the best.
I know I can be better. Sorry I suck at being a friend and a student and a person at times...I know I can be better and I'm not. I know I'm a work in progress and I frustrate myself daily with my many let downs.
I don't know what to do with my future. At the moment it just makes me feel burdened so I refuse to think about it...hey may not be healthy but it's what I'm doing at the moment.

I need prayer...and I'm blessed to have people in my life who pray for me (at least i think they do ;) I know I can be dramatic and my life isn't bad at all...but if this overwhelmed feeling could pass that would be wonderful. :)

This is beautiful...

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people.
SO THAT you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war.
SO THAT you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in the world.
SO THAT you can do what others claim cannot be done to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Who I Am.

I've been doing some self reflection lately I guess you could say. I've tried to become more self aware and I've noticed comments from people about me and sometimes I feel like people don't know me that well. So this is just a list about me and who I am. And since I'm loving top ten lists lately here are the top ten things about me...

10. I can't lie. I guess because the two times in my life I've told the biggest lies it was torture to keep things straight and it's not worth it at all. It's actually kinda weird how much I can't lie even if its about something stupid. And one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone does lie to me.

9. I don't get mad very easily. If I do get mad it's gotta be a pretty big deal and the biggest thing that makes me mad are social justice issues.

8. I'm a people pleaser. Yup, I admit it. I've always known it and I hate it at times because I hate that people can so easily have control over my emotions, but I like that it makes me more selfless and think more of others and what they're feeling.

7. My love language is words of affirmation. The way to get to my heart is through words. I notice when people don't say I love you and if you want to make my day just write me a letter. I love writing other people letters and letting them know I appreciate them.

6. I guess I'm unique...I've realized that a lot of people have used that word to describe me and I used to get offended but I looked up the definition and it said: being the only one of its kind and unlike anyone else. So...I guess this could be said in a negative way but I'm just embracing my uniqueness. :)

5. I struggle with being good enough. I guess this is one of my deepest insecurities. I guess it's also related to being a people pleaser.

4. I'm a pretty adaptable and flexible person. I'll go with the flow and I would rather not have things totally planned out, but if they are that's okay too. I think it can come across like I don't have opinions or am just a follower but its just because I will do whatever and if other people care more than I do then I'll just do whatever they want because I'm content with whatever.

3. I do have an opinion, actually I have a lot of them. I think some people would say I don't often say what I think, but I just don't express them all the time because I don't want to start fights with people and I just want to keep the peace.

2. I'm dependable. I can't say I will do something and not do it. I don't think there's many times in my life where I can say I let someone down or said I would do something and didn't. This also results in me sucking at saying no to things and being over committed.

1. I'm an Introvert. I've spent years denying it and always wished I was more outgoing but I've come to terms with it. And I've realized the true definition of the word means that I get my energy from being alone. I love being around people and spending time with lots of friends but I do get drained if I don't have some alone time.

I figured since I was talking about myself I would include a picture...this is the result of being sick and bored in my apt. all day.

My Top 10 Events of Summer...

Things have been crazy this last week...came back to Nashville last Friday and have been on retreat and in meetings pretty much nonstop. I'm finally having a chance to relax and wanted to summarize my summer before it got to late...so I decided to do it in the form of a top ten list.

10. Traveling. I basically drove from Michigan to Seattle in the span of two and half months and got to see and experience so many things along the way.

9. Weddings. I got to be in a good friend's wedding and then come to Nashville for one weekend for two weddings. It was so fun celebrating such a special day with everyone!

8. Home. As much as I loved traveling and being all over the place this summer I loved that I was able to relax at home and spend time there with family and friends. Of course home wouldn't be home without a trip to Lake Michigan and I was able to go twice.

7. The sporting events. I attended three major league baseball games and the Seattle Sounders vs. Chelsea game. I got to go to my first Tigers game!! Which was incredible and then went to a Seattle Mariners game and Colorado Rockies...out of the three only the Rockies won. :( Also...I went to the Sounders vs. Chelsea FC game which was so awesome and I'm so glad I got to go!

6. Almost encountering a gun. Leah and I had the great opportunity of running from gun shots while we were in downtown Seattle...long story short, scariest moment of my life to date.

5. Family. I think I spent more time with my family this summer than I have in awhile and it was wonderful. We had our "family reunion" with my aunts and uncles and some cousins which was great and we got spend some time out at the lake house.

4. Wyoming. After my Mom and Dad picked me up at Camp in CO we drove to WY and met Leah and Jake there to do some camping in the Grand Tetons (which are beautiful). We went on a couple really pretty hikes, survived a storm in the tent, and kayaking on a lake in the storm, and only showered every few days...it was great.

3. Seeing old friends. I was able to see Josh and Deanna in Denver before camp and it was so good! It wasn't the longest time but we were able to catch up and I'm so thankful I was able to see them! And In Seattle I got to see Julia, who lives there now, and spend the night with her and we just picked up where we left off.

2. Seattle in general. I'm so glad I was able to spend time there with Jake, Leah and Em. I learned the bus system, experienced city life, did a 5k and had some nice relaxing downtime. I spent more time with Leah and Jake than I have in awhile and it was great.

1. Camp Timberline. Wow. I'm not gonna lie...it didn't start out quite like I expected, but it ended up being an amazing experience that I will forever be grateful for. God shaped me and revealed so much to me this summer through this experience and I won't forget it.