I've realized I have become content with life, but probably almost to the point of complacency. Someone asked me the other day what my goals were. I really couldn't answer. I don't think because I don't have goals, but because I have just been content where I am that I haven't thought much going forward. This is good and bad. It's good because I really am content where I am. I know myself and I know that I can get caught up in what is to come and the next thing and I don't want that to happen. I've already spent a majority of my life wishing it way, thinking that as soon as I got to college things would be even better and then thinking once I got out of college life will be awesome. It took me awhile to discover the importance of being present.
I was blessed to get the job I dreamed of as soon as I graduated from college. I think in some way I thought, "well...this is it." I'm here and I'll just be content doing this forever. There's a few problems with this. First, my identity became wrapped up in this job. If I would have lost my job for whatever reason I think I would have thought my life was over. I came to have good boundaries and that even though what I do is so ingrained in who I am, it does not define me.
I can have other dreams and goals. I do have other dreams and goals. I think I just have to rediscover them. Many of these dreams and goals revolve around my current job, but others just have to do with life. I've realized too what I would say my dreams were five years ago aren't the same today. Partly because some of these have come true and partly because I have changed and that is why life is so incredible awesome.
We are on a journey. Our goals and dreams can change. I may have different dreams and goals in five years and that's okay. I think we are supposed to live within this tension of being fully present, but also working towards goals and realizing it is perfectly okay to dream.
So as I sit here snacking on my caramel corn rice snacks and enjoying my last night before classes start again, I decided to share a few goals and dreams I have (but not too many because if I publish everything on this blog no one will ever have to talk to me about them in person) ;)
- I want to visit every state in the US. I currently am at 37 so I'm not off to a bad start.
- I want to make a difference.
- I want to use my creativity to produce a great piece of work. I'm not sure what this would be yet. TBD.
- I want to finish grad school, preferable alive and thriving.
- I want to love people so well they can't help but ask why?
- I want to swim with dolphins.
- I want to visit Italy, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Israel and Greece. (This list could go on and on, I basically want to travel everywhere)
There's a lot more, but for the time being I think they're best kept in my head and my heart.
I hope you know you're free to dream. Free to dream and aspire to achieve your goals, but take it from someone who learned it the hard way...don't forget to be present and to fully live right where you are too.