I have been called out recently. Called out in a way that brought attention to something I didn't even realize but as this person said it, I could only nod and agree. She said, "in one hand you have your life as you thought it would be. You have your life as you expected it would be, as the person you think you should be and doing what is expected of you. This is who you think you should or could be. In the other hand, you have your life. Your real life, with everything you've accomplished, struggled with, and face every day. This is who you are and the life and circumstances that are shaping you into who you're becoming. You aren't accepting your reality and reconciling these expectations with your reality. And really your reality is a good reality!"
This was so true. I didn't even realize how I was struggling with accepting my reality. My life has not really turned out the way I expected. In many ways it's like all I planned to do and thought I would do have been thrown out the window. I have had the opportunity to do things I feel like I don't deserve and have been fortunate to do so many good things. I kinda struggle with that in a way I'm not fully even able to explain. I desire things I thought I would have and try to bring things with me from the past that I thought were good. I never realized how much time I've wasted on this. How much time I've wasted on letting my expectations rule over my reality.
When we allow our expectations to rule our decisions and our mind, we miss out on our reality. We miss out on what's right in front of us. We miss out on realizing that the opportunities we have been given are just that, opportunities! I don't want my life to be ruled by my expectations. I want to fully live in my reality and not the "what could be or should be", but by what is.